April 20, 2009 4 Comments
The Internet has been the most fabulous transition in every way, most of all for disparate communities that are not easy to connect, or communities and identities not easy to have in public. No surprise that sexuality led the Internet more than a decade ago, and spanking sites and forums have always been a big part of that. It has released us to be able to say what we are thinking, and (perhaps even more importantly) know what others are thinking. The benefit is – I have had this and have read many many with the same sentiment – is we suddenly feel so Normal and Sane, after having grown up thinking we were weird.
That’s the upside. The downside of all this connectivity, for me, is that it connects me to some stuff that I find pretty gruesome. Here we get into personal preference and assuming it’s all consensual there’s no judgment, but my preference is for “real” spanking, that means hard, but not damaging. For example I find a lot of the Eastern European stuff just too heavy. And much of the hard caning – where is it going? Nowhere that I want to go. For me it’s about authority and clear roles and limits. But it’s not about pain. Sure, forcefulness and pain is necessary to achieve the goal (to make the dominance-submission real.) But it is not the goal itself. A bit of brusque otk with skirt up and panties down, to me achieves more authority than any amount of whaling away.
Also, I want to lay down a marker for intelligence and literacy. Call me elitist, perhaps, but dumb brutality, whacking away at another persons behind … well it does nothing for me. The interest is in the dance of authority and submission, what he says, what she says. Before, during, and after. The brain is the most important sex organ, and ideas and words are the real bearers of the erotic.