The life of the mind is sexy, even if it’s inadvertent

So, I was scrolling through some pictures and couldn’t help from pausing over this one:

A nice girl, with a lovely bottom. Just another photo, right?

What got my juices flowing is the depth of communication created by the poster in the background. The poster itself can be seen in more detail here, but briefly it is the famous 1911 US socialist “Pyramid of Capitalist System,” showing how capitalism “really works”. (Whatever your politics, its incontrovertible that a handful benefit wildly while most grind through life worrying about their mortgage and health care, and maybe that’s not the best way to organise the world?)

Anyway, the point is the poster in the background changes everything in the foreground. Suddenly it is no longer just another girl showing her bum, but a really quite complex musing on exploitation and choice. Because of course, nudity is political. Who keeps their clothes on, who takes them off, who is the viewer and who the viewed, is all about power.

Women’s organisations have, with mixed success, drawn parallels between exploitation of workers and of women — mixed because, submission and proto-exploitation is a very common erotic choice. Desire is mostly politically incorrect and all that. Also (let’s avoid naivete) the undressed women is not powerless. She has quite significant control over the owner of testosterone and can shape him to her will.

With all that in mind, suddenly there is a lot going on in this picture for me. A statement on many levels. And as one who finds thinking women sexy, I find myself fantasizing what else this woman has to say? Yes, I drool over her cheeks, but an interesting head makes them twice as nice.

It’s likely this is all my construction — the poster probably just what was there in the background when some leering photographer snapped pictures of just another model. But, there is the worker’s cap to make the link, so maybe I’m right…?

Mesmerised by Red Charls

I was introduced to a site called Red Charls “site amateur, gratuit” by a correspondent who popped up in my email inbox with the most enticing review, waxing lyrical and far too deliciously not to quote a bit – see below.

I see spanking and DD as essentially theatre of the mind, and I’m generally more pleased by a good story than a picture. But these photos are really something. On the downside, Charls’ spanking section is merely one tranche on a site that does rope and candlewax and other (to me) mere clutter. And it’s very “Euro-noir” in overal ambiance. Yawn. But there is real art here.

ss-rc-203

ss-rc-45a

First, the photographer, whoever he or she is, is a genius. The pictures are not just pleasingly polished, clear, well composed, beautifully lit, colour-balanced and so on, but they also breathtakingly feel the ‘motion’ of spanking. The swing, the strike, the squirm, it’s all humanity-in-motion and it’s all captured. The pictures also seek out other things that are hard to express: firmness of purpose, gentleness of intent, totality of submission, and so on. It’s a pure an evocation of masculinity / femininity, utterly different in aspect, dress and role, colliding with a desire that leaps off the page. To me it is just smokin’.

Another perspective – what my correspondent (who’s name I’ll withhold, but who identifies herself as a straight female from New England) had to say:

ss-rc-gg1 “Her hair is gorgeous and I like that it’s left flowing behind her. I like the simplicity of the bindings- just what appears to be soft green rope. Her positioning is again, simple, but perfect- leaning forward throughout, with her back arched and bottom pushed back pleasingly (photo 11 is stunning in this regard). She’s in simple heels, nothing too showy. There are about 33 photos in this series featuring this same girl/same scene, and the beauty of that is you can really see her going through it all, from panties on, then being pulled down slightly, and her bottom being completely white, to them finally settling where they are in these photos- acting as a bit of a binding in themselves – preventing her from opening her legs wider, all the way to her bottom being rendered bright red…

“I like the implement too, which is simple as can be, the man’s arm which is shown to be veiny and muscular, and the strength that that implies. But I have to say the thing that captivates me the most is the markings. #13 in particular, is the one I find myself staring at. The markings are so obviously real, and freshly received, all the way from that beautiful curve of her lower back- how you can see the imprint of the stitching in the leather and that it’s higher up on the right since he’s on her left & is using his right hand, the redness across her cheeks, which in this photo is in the midst of being walloped in double whammy fashion, down to her upper things- particularly her upper inner thighs, and then, of course, those panties again, just below it all. Am I crazy for finding this breathtakingly hot?”

Mental Rope

Good ol’ pressure of work has taken me away, but now I’m back. What I’ve been thinking about a fair bit is the issues of restraint, that is tying up or tying down for a spanking, and how it totally changes the dynamic. Contrary to the apparently (I’m told) disputatious nature of some of my previous posts — I’d prefer the term “polite polemic” myself 🙂 — I don’t actually have a strong opinion either way. Just some thoughts.

First, handcuffing, or light bondage in general, is undoubtedly highly erotic. It takes the everyday egalitarian power balance and unbalances it – suddenly one person is at the mercy of the other. It is a doorway if not the royal road into “sub-space.” Restraint and coercion is the stuff of just about every sexual fantasy, and that’s great.

It is also, I’m told, easier to bear a spanking when tied down. There’s less “choice”. It is certainly easier to stay in position, which is good for the Top too. It’s rather tiresome to have to re-re-re-position a bottom.

But, there’s always a cost and the cost is subtle, but significant. What is very much a turn-on, from this male POV at least, is her choice to have the spanking and to submit willingly and fully to each smack. If her hands are free and she chooses to or forces herself to keep them out the way, and stay in position, it says more to me than the tied-up-sub just remaining tied up. With each stroke it speaks willingness to submit and renewed acknowledgment of authority given. It’s active submission rather than passive submission.

Although I thought the movie was generally feeble, there was a scene in “The Secretary” that resonated with me (not the spanking scene to be sure). It was when he instructs her to place her hands on the desk and remain in that position until “released”. Of course he was a thoroughly unworthy Dom (run a mile and don’t look back) and so made the “test” absurdly long, but still she would not release herself. She was mentally bound, but those ropes are the strongest… and there’s still nothing on earth as enticing as a strong submissive.

So I would deliciously bind to spank, but for the highest experience as a Top I prefer to apply the more subtle, more demanding “mental rope only”.

Money, morality, and non-erotics in paying spank sites

First, I’m very honoured to see that this blog – up for such a short time that it’s hardly official even in my own mind – has been linked to by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts, one of the great spanking blogs around. (Great title, nothing beats intelligence! Well, maybe her hubby does.) That nudged me to put up a few links of my own, particularly to the unsurpassed Taken in Hand, and more to come.

I notice my own preference is for sites that are thinking, intimate, and well designed. No flashing anything. No trying to jizz up my dick. Yes, this is old fashioned. But then old fashioned is what it is all about, n’est-ce pas?

So the day’s thought for me runs off what I mentioned yesterday – I’m not a member of any spanking pay sites. Why not? They seem to offer attractive stuff. It’s not the money. So? There are two reasons, one moral, one erotic.

The moral is not that “spanking (or bdsm, etc.) is immoral.” Certainly not that. If it is consentingl adults, it’s fine. The morality is in the money. If I get out my credit card, I’m putting my money into the front end of a chain that ends in a spanking, and Web exposure thereof, the conditions of which I have no control over, and which may well be suspect. The sex business is not pretty. It’s not that all girls are exploited, but some are (and the dreadful paradox is that consensual private exploitation can be sexy, but commercial /porn /pimp exploitation never is.) Without the money the engine would not go round, and I’d prefer it didn’t. The only real voting we get to do is with our wallets.

There’s also the erotic side. I find my spanking passions are deeply bound up in the idea that she actively WANTS to be spanked (even if sometimes she gets it when she doesn’t want, it is still part of a broader chosen lifestyle), not that she wants to get something for suffering spanking. If I’m thinking, “okay this woman is there for a ‘shoot’ for which she got – what’s the rate? – a few hundred dollars? and she’s sweating her way through it to pay the rent or school fees, it’s not a turn-on at any level.

Spanking is about deepening a relationship (long-term coupled or not), but if the relationship is all about a few bucks for a few whacks, that’s not interesting.

Sites where real people put up their own relationship-based spanking pictures or video, accessed without overly greasing the palm of a greasy Webmaster, would be good to know about. Yeah, dream on.

So many different types of spanking, so, a few preferences…

The Internet has been the most fabulous transition in every way, most of all for disparate communities that are not easy to connect, or communities and identities not easy to have in public. No surprise that sexuality led the Internet more than a decade ago, and spanking sites and forums have always been a big part of that. It has released us to be able to say what we are thinking, and (perhaps even more importantly) know what others are thinking. The benefit is – I have had this and have read many many with the same sentiment – is we suddenly feel so Normal and Sane, after having grown up thinking we were weird.

That’s the upside. The downside of all this connectivity, for me, is that it connects me to some stuff that I find pretty gruesome. Here we get into personal preference and assuming it’s all consensual there’s no judgment, but my preference is for “real” spanking, that means hard, but not damaging. For example I find a lot of the Eastern European stuff just too heavy. And much of the hard caning – where is it going? Nowhere that I want to go. For me it’s about authority and clear roles and limits. But it’s not about pain. Sure, forcefulness and pain is necessary to achieve the goal (to make the dominance-submission real.) But it is not the goal itself. A bit of brusque otk with skirt up and panties down, to me achieves more authority than any amount of whaling away.

Also, I want to lay down a marker for intelligence and literacy. Call me elitist, perhaps, but dumb brutality, whacking away at another persons behind … well it does nothing for me. The interest is in the dance of authority and submission, what he says, what she says. Before, during, and after. The brain is the most important sex organ, and ideas and words are the real bearers of the erotic.

Just another spanking blog?

One of the things that blogging allows, encourages in fact, is to put one’s private journal online. So here goes. What get’s me journaling, primarily, is the need to reflect on adult spanking and consider my role and preferences. Many things are obvious in life. But this topic is not. So I find myself thinking about what I find interesting, and erotic, and difficult, and incompatible with me. And I think better when I write, or at least writing it down forces me to think it through.

Having said that, this blog will be about everything I muse on. As I say in my “About,” I don’t believe in erotic divorced from the rest of one’s life and existence. In fact the point of blogging, to me, is to work on integration. I have a life of many interests and passions, and spanking-discipline is just a part.

The other thing is, I want to get blogging, finally, to do my bit and show my appreciation for the many wonderful, thoughtful people in the spanking community (there are many who are not so wonderful, but more of that later.) However, on the whole, over many Web sites and b-boards and blogs, I’ve come to regard the people I come into contact with as something special, a community with a particular earnestness, integrity, and reflectiveness that one doesn’t see everywhere in the “sex” world. Many write very well too. So I want to acknowledge and be part of that. That motivates me.