A real and lasting impact

I’ve written previously about the role of bottom marks, how they function something like tattoos or face paint, as a lasting (for a while) statement of identification and alignment with the authority figure. As a top, they are indisputable evidence of where you’ve been and the impact you have had. Not every spanking should leave marks, but when it happens it lengthens the spanking consciousness and allows her or forces her to take it wherever she goes. They are a physical manifestations of a state of mind.

But you don’t get marks without pain. Now spanking must be painful to a degree. Certainly if it can be laughed off then it is ineffective if not seriously corrosive. But seeing someone in pain is, to me, a turn-off. The way I see it, pain is a byproduct of a good spanking – necessary, integral, but not its fundamental point. Or put it this way, if I was trying to cause her pain as the main point I could just as well put cigarettes out on her bottom. That would be sore. But completely uninteresting. This is where the spanker and the sadist part ways.

Similarly with humiliation. A certain humiliation – undress – submissive position – respectful speech – is necessary for the spanking to be effective, but there are better ways to produce humiliation per se. Boot licking and all that. Not remotely interesting to me.

So pain is a byproduct. Humiliation is a byproduct. The spanking ‘product’ itself is, to me, impact. Spanking is an act of direct impact. That’s what’s interesting and meaningful. It is a way for me to say: I’m going to have an impact on you (your behaviour, your attitude, your delicious sassiness, whatever) in a way that is both unequivocal and unassailable, but physically (pain) safe and emotionally (humiliation) respectful. Bottom spanking is, at heart, an impact ritual.

There’s nothing quite like a squirming bottom, wriggling to absorb the impact. There’s nothing like knowing a well-smacked bottom is walking around under that skirt that is walking next to you down the street. That’s  impact. That’s what’s addictive.

4 Responses to A real and lasting impact

  1. eliane says:

    From the bottom’s perspective, I also agree. For me, it’s not about the pain, it’s about the dynamic which allows me to take that pain and accept the humiliation. As a headstrong and opinionated person, having someone who can bring out the submissiveness in me that allows me to do those things is fantastic.

  2. Jake says:

    I agree with the sentiment but I’ve come to phrase it a different way.

    The essence of spanking (in my opinion, of course!) is demonstration. Whether it’s public or private is irrelevant. The spanker is demonstrating to all, perhaps just the two of them, that the spankee’s pose of indifference to the desires and standards of the spanker is just that, a pose. By bringing out one involuntary reaction after another, the spankee is testifying, against their own will, of their concern with the preferences of the spanker and their own wish to be in conformity with them.

    But as stated that’s overly harsh. It’s not all about the pain and humiliation, as most adults can simply withdraw into themselves. A responsive spankee is also displaying their own willingness to be vulnerable and their trust in the spanker.

    It reminds me of a comment I once heard where amazement was expressed that older teenage boys would submit to physical punishment when they could put up a real fight. Someone else replied that it’s not all about the physical match up. Exactly. Not everyone has the same willingness to win. And when a battle of wills between adults ends in a spanking where one demonstrably loses, I have to think that part of the reason why, is trust in the other’s authority.

    Or uh, else it’s abuse, and you know, not very sexy, so let’s not go there…

  3. Keagen says:

    Wonderful perspective, once again.

    I would have to agree. It’s not about the pain. I hate the pain. I love the dynamic, the strength, the love, the impact. . . . but the pain is horrible. I love being able to freely express my submission, and knowing that it will be backed when needed.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post.

  4. Greg says:

    Beautifully stated!

    I particularly like your last paragraph too – that is exactly what does it for me to (as a Top).

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