‘Punishment’, ‘Maintenance’ and ‘Erotic’ spankings. These categories don’t hold up.
May 7, 2009 6 Comments
Across the spanking Net a fair amount of effort goes into categorising spankings. One can appreciate the need. To categorise (classify; taxonomise; whatever) is the basic building block of thought. We need classifications to know what we are talking about and share it with others.
As I understand it, the dd-schema that comes up most of the time is (a) punishment, where a transgression is corrected; (b) maintenance where a spanking is given without direct cause other than to maintain the form of relationship; and (c) erotic, where spanking is a turn-on or foreplay.
To me, all spankings have all three elements. They are a punishment (real or ritual) that also maintains a state of mind and of relationship, and are always directly or indirectly erotic.
One can tell when categories are suspect by the extent of problems people report with them. Ubiquitous problems raised are those such as: “I don’t want to be a bitch/brat in real life, so I never do anything to earn a punishment!”. Or “I want to be spanked, but I don’t want to be micromanaged,” Or “routine maintanance doesn’t work, seems silly, because there’s no reason to spank her,” and so on.
Better, I think, to see all three elements every time. But the no-reason-for-punishment problem remains: how can she do something punishworthy without being subject to silly rules or her doing something ridiculous like purposefully failing a test or getting a speeding fine?
I think there are punishable elements in the everyday dd-format relationship. These are:
1. Attitude and Respect. I would never say the Top is always right. Far from it. Her disagreement and criticism on any topic, properly done, is fine. But disrespect or a poor attitude is punishable.
2. Targets. We all strive to achieve and improve, from learning Chinese to avoiding cream caramels. What are her targets? Missing them is fine if the effort is there. If not, she is punished.
3. Agreements. A couple will have agreed roles, duties, behaviours. If she breaks an agreement, punishment follows.
These three overlap. But the idea is there – there is plenty of room for ritual punishment in a fully adult relationship, which in itself naturally fulfils the maintenance function, and surely leads to sparkling sex sooner or later.
Art of Authority 
I agree with your idea of recognizing these three elements in every (or most) spankings. Trying to distinguish between multiple categories of spanking is just confusing for us. I get spanked because that’s what we do. Sometimes the focus is on some aspect of my behavior; sometimes it’s on restoring a sense of intimacy and sometimes it’s just because we both need it. Thanks for putting it so well!
We often went in for Regulars, where you got whacked without a direct cause but it was to cover “all the things you didn’t get caught for”. Sometimes a Regular would be given at the end of a week and sweep up the week’s misdemeanors without having to calculate each one.
Words, words and more words. In my relationship we use the word Maintenance to cover a variety of things we do to keep my girl centered in her life. One of them is spanking. I can report now and in the past we have no problems with this definition or in explaining it. Further I can assure you punishment plays no part in 90% of the spankings she gets.
Your definition works for you and mine works for me. I think I understand your position and if you do not understand mine I am sure we can find a common language to over come that.
Beyond that they are just words, words and more words.
J.
Hi Art, I have been thinking about this post for weeks now and I wanted to share my experience. I happen to like all things bottom. Consider it a combination rudder, antennae and sex organ. I do see different spankings as having different purposes and I would differentiate them based on a few factors. Primarily the emotions and intentions of the partners leading into the event and intensity.
One, what is commonly called maintenance. It could also be called reassurance. In my world view, this lengthy spanking would have a longer warm-up, and escalating intensity and be accompanied by conversation regarding possible smaller infractions or disappointments between the partners. It would allow for the air to be cleared of any simmering discontents and refocus both partners on their roles.
As for punishment spankings, in my experience those have been of a significantly harsher intensity. Perhaps and increase in tempo, utilizing an implement that is disliked by the submissive. The idea being to bring an immediate recognition to the submissive of the error of their ways. A spanking with substantially increased intensity and frequency given by a dominant partner with the express purpose of disciplining their partner will have that effect.
I contend that there are any number of ways a bottom swat can be used to communicate with a submissive partner. These include swats of affection, direction, caution — all of which can occur randomly. As a person who likes bottom swats this works for me. Others may find this to be intrusive or emotionally hurtful. I do not know.
Lastly, spanking is erotic for me. I enjoy having my bottom caressed and paddled as a part of foreplay and in some circumstances intercourse.
For some, they approach the activity on one mental road each and every time. I do not. However, I understand the difficulty in separating punishment spankings from erotic or maintenance/reassurance type events. Much erotica is built on the idea of the transgression big or small being rectified on the upturned female bottom and many need the impetus of punishment to participate in this thing we do under any circumstances. I understand that need, I guess I am lucky in that many mental needs for me can be addressed in the same way.
CD
Hi Alex
I agree totally with the 3 punishable elementents you describe and would dearly love to experience that in a realtionship. I physically ache for the connection and closeness it suggests.
Instead I sail along like a ship without a Captain going this way and that, just drifting. For some to sail their ship alone would be ideal and I know I’m very capable and do. A Captain to guide me through the storms and rocky places and together enjoy the calm still waters with maybe a paddle or two in his hand the possibilities are endless…
For me words work well (the mind creates some wonderful pictures).
Thank you for yours.
Which would you choose if this was your contract.
Punishment Spanking Succession Form
Fill out and sign prior to meeting and must have proof that you are 18 years of age or older with ___________ and I am consenting to this of my own free will _____ (initials)
The disciplinarian will comfort, hold and console me after the punishment is over. I acknowledged that the disciplinarian will not in any way attempt to take advantage of, touch or try anything sexual towards me _____ (initials).
This will be an absolute real punishment spanking secession.
I _____________ (print full name) understand that all punishment spankings succession will consist of 3 separate spankings, strapped with something leather, a paddling with flat hard surface implement and a final corporal disciple spanking with a cane, tree switch or mini blind wand. I ___________ (print full name) understand and release my disciplinarian _____________ (print full name) from his responsibly for any and all marks, welts and bruises on my backside that will result from being spanked, from the top of my bottom below my tail bone to the middle of my thighs, during the punishment disciple secession. I accept that I will have welts, bruises and marks for days ________ (initials).
All punishment spankings will have two elements: the corporal disciple spankings and an element of embarrassment.
Corporal Disciple Spanking
I understand and accept that I will have no safe word to stop the spankings, once the spankings starts ______ (initials).
I understand and accept that there will be no warm up spanking with the hand, it will began hard, consecutively (intensity at the discretion of my disciplinarian) with a implement ________ (initials).
I understand and accept that all spankings will be administered on the bare skin _________ (initials).
I understand and accept that there will be no time limitation as to the length of each spanking, no matter how hard I am crying _________ (initials).
I understand and accept that there will be no limitation to the number of swats I will receive in the spankings, no matter how hard I am crying ________ (initials).
Element of Embarrassment
You must choose at least three of the following, put a “X” in front of following sections.
___ completely bare from the waist to knees or ankles and shuffling across the room carrying implement with you.
___ completely naked for the entire secession.
___ intentionally do a post spanking dance performance for 30 seconds or more after each spanking (stiffening up, pushing hips pushed forwards, rubbing bare ass with both hands and hoping up and down).
___ standing in the corner (forehead against the wall) for 1 full hour before each spankings with next implement in both hands, fully clothed unless completely naked was selected.
___ suppository inserted all the way in as safely as possible just before the last spanking, unless enema is selected. Rubber glove will be used.
___ enema given after last spanking unless suppository is selected.
___ the spankings are to be watched by an unknown person.
___ Disciplinarian discretion.
First Spanking: Strapping
Strapping with something leather. Choose from the following. There is no minimum number of whacks and no maximum. Put a “X” in front of sections.
___ Western leather belt with imprints on it, nothing medal.
___ Thin office belt.
___ Belt of you bring.
___ Belt your choice from assorted collection.
___ Disciplinarian discretion.
Position, choose 1 or more. Put a “X” in from of the selections.
___ Over the knee/lap.
___ Over the end of a couch.
___ Over the knee and end couch
___ Over the back of the couch.
___ Diaper: on your back, feet up straight
___ Disciplinarian discretion.
___ Other _____________
Second Spanking: Paddling
Paddled with a hard flat surface implement. All paddings with be over the knee or lap. The most lengthily of the 3 spanking. There is a minimum of 100 smacks with no maximum. Paddling will be very intense (hard and fast) from the very beginning until it stops. Choose from the following. Put an “X” on the selection.
___ Fraternity Paddle
___ Lexicon Paddle
___ Thin flat part of handle of a bamboo backscratcher.
___ Hairbrush
___ Bath brush
___ Bring your own implement
___ Disciplinarian discretion.
The Third and Final Spanking
The final spanking is with long thin round implement. There is no minimum and no maximum number of swats. It will start slow and end in a long flurry of rapid fire blows. Choose from the following. Put a “X” on the sections.
___ Mini blinding wand.
___ Cane
___ Tree Switch
Restraints
Unless requested to bind hands together for the last one, there will no restraints. Disciplinarian may hold arm and hand the middle of the back and scissor lock legs. The disciplinarian expects you to accept and expect it will be unbearable and take disciple willingly. If there is an excessive reaching, the disciplinarian has a responsibility to make it safe from hands being hit and bind them together at his discretion. There will be absolutely no restraining you in place.
I ______________ (print name) willing on my own violation accept and agree to the terms laid out above and accept the proceeding punishment secession accordingly.
Signatures
Person being Disciplined
____________________
Disciplinarian
____________________