Money, morality, and non-erotics in paying spank sites

First, I’m very honoured to see that this blog – up for such a short time that it’s hardly official even in my own mind – has been linked to by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts, one of the great spanking blogs around. (Great title, nothing beats intelligence! Well, maybe her hubby does.) That nudged me to put up a few links of my own, particularly to the unsurpassed Taken in Hand, and more to come.

I notice my own preference is for sites that are thinking, intimate, and well designed. No flashing anything. No trying to jizz up my dick. Yes, this is old fashioned. But then old fashioned is what it is all about, n’est-ce pas?

So the day’s thought for me runs off what I mentioned yesterday – I’m not a member of any spanking pay sites. Why not? They seem to offer attractive stuff. It’s not the money. So? There are two reasons, one moral, one erotic.

The moral is not that “spanking (or bdsm, etc.) is immoral.” Certainly not that. If it is consentingl adults, it’s fine. The morality is in the money. If I get out my credit card, I’m putting my money into the front end of a chain that ends in a spanking, and Web exposure thereof, the conditions of which I have no control over, and which may well be suspect. The sex business is not pretty. It’s not that all girls are exploited, but some are (and the dreadful paradox is that consensual private exploitation can be sexy, but commercial /porn /pimp exploitation never is.) Without the money the engine would not go round, and I’d prefer it didn’t. The only real voting we get to do is with our wallets.

There’s also the erotic side. I find my spanking passions are deeply bound up in the idea that she actively WANTS to be spanked (even if sometimes she gets it when she doesn’t want, it is still part of a broader chosen lifestyle), not that she wants to get something for suffering spanking. If I’m thinking, “okay this woman is there for a ‘shoot’ for which she got – what’s the rate? – a few hundred dollars? and she’s sweating her way through it to pay the rent or school fees, it’s not a turn-on at any level.

Spanking is about deepening a relationship (long-term coupled or not), but if the relationship is all about a few bucks for a few whacks, that’s not interesting.

Sites where real people put up their own relationship-based spanking pictures or video, accessed without overly greasing the palm of a greasy Webmaster, would be good to know about. Yeah, dream on.

10 Responses to Money, morality, and non-erotics in paying spank sites

  1. Hermione says:

    Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging. I’m sure the traffic is pouring in now that Bonnie has added your link.

    Do drop in to Hermione’s Heart some time. While there are no erotic pictures, I think it fits your mention of “the idea that she actively WANTS to be spanked”.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

  2. Bonnie says:

    Alex,

    Thank you for your kind words! I’m delighted to be able to assist. On that note, I sent a few close friends over to visit tonight.

    I agree about your points regarding morality and money. I’ve never made a dime from my blog. I have no particular issue with other blogs selling ads or joining affiliate programs or whatever, but that’s not for me. One of the aspects I like best about this medium is that it allows me to publish exactly what I choose. As soon as other people start deciding what appears on the blog, it’s not mine any more.

    When I talk about spanking, it’s because I love it. That’s my sole motivation, and I believe that fact registers with readers. I wouldn’t want to give it up.

    Best wishes with your new blog!
    Bonnie

  3. artofauthority says:

    Agreed. I don’t have objections to commercialism of spank sites per se (ads, affilates, etc) if that’s where the owners want to take them. I’m just not sure about spanking for money, or making spanking videos for profit.

  4. Vivian says:

    Hi Alex,

    I really enjoy your blog and your thoughtful comments. The world needs more smart people talking about DD.

    I wanted to add an alternative perspective on commercial sites, however. Most people don’t realize that maintaining a website takes an awful lot of time and energy, not to mention the costs associated with hosting, etc. None of that time and energy is free to do the person doing the work!

    It’s not at all unreasonable, in my view, to expect people to pay for the service of enjoying a website with good content. The time and energy and creativity of the people who maintain these sites deserves compensation.

    My blog, The Disciplined Feminist, for example, is a free site, which is in part why it’s updated as frequently as I’d like. Finding time to do so on a volunteer basis, as the expense of what pays the mortgage (especially in these economic times) is challenging, at best.

    When we discuss paid spanking sites, I think it’s important to to get the fact that the sites are paid sites confused with the exploitation issue — two separate discussions!

    Looking forward to following your blog!

    Warmest,
    Viv

  5. Constance says:

    I agree with you, but I would hasten to point out that I have a friend involved in spanking videos (as the spanker) and this friend told me that if anything, the spankees complain when a spanking isn’t hard or long enough. I’m sure there are lots of people doing it strictly for the money, but not all.

    That said, I don’t belong to any pay sites either, and in fact only real spanking in real relationships interests me in the least.

  6. Sereena says:

    Here is a site that just may bring your dream a little closer to reality: http://www.spankingtube.com/
    It has some real couples posting their own DD clips. It also has clips of the kind you don’t like, but as I said, it is just a step closer to your dream.

  7. Dark Passenger says:

    I love the insight and unique thoughts you’ve explored in your blog; truly, one of a kind. So much of what you’ve written resonated with me.

    This particular post reminds me of how cheap the words so powerful for spankos seemed to have become over time (personally, at least). When talking to others with the interest, it was as if many were using the words for the immediate erotic thrill like verbal masturbation. It became more and more disturbing that people would message a complete stranger through personals or forums for spankos with graphic “mini-stories” of what they would do to them before they even say hello.

    So impersonal..

    They’re convinced they’re in it by their passion but.. its a fickle mistress. Feel it, do it. Don’t feel it, screw what I say and hear the excuses. One way street of promises based on convenience.

    It’s sad when it can be so powerful when people are on the same page.

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  9. Woodrow says:

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is just placing the other person’s blog link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do similar in support of you.

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